When you get engaged everyone always talks about how wonderful it is and how exciting a time it is for you but no one really tells you how stressful it is (except other brides!)
So let me be the first to say to all of you who have yet to embark on this journey….it’s stressful! (if you allow it to be)
The funny part is, I’ve only been engaged for just about a month now and the only thing that I’ve really been planning is an engagement party but never the less, going through the process and thinking about all the little components that go into event planning, especially planning an event that you’ve waited your whole life for and will hopefully never have the opportunity to plan again, is hard work and a little daunting.
I’ve realized that over the course of the last month I’ve allowed myself to be consumed by the details, the websites (the knot is amazing by the way for all of you detail oriented brides out there), the costs, the research, the phone calls, the guest lists, the colour schemes, the favours, the food, the invitations, the wording of the invitations and well I could go on for awhile so let’s just stop there…
BUT….there comes a point where you need to step on the brakes and take a breather! Yes it’s a lot of work and yes it’s stressful sometimes and yes everyone around you is going to give you conflicting advice and no you won’t be able to please everyone sometimes not even yourself but as long as you remember the most important thing in the midst of all the chaos, your bride/groom to be, your desire to build a future and life with this one person and the love you have created, you will be okay and all of the ‘stress’ inducing decisions won’t seem nearly as important.
I felt inspired to write this post as I recently had a conversation with my fiance about…well I really can’t recall at the moment….but needless to say it was engagement/wedding related and I was seeking his input and his response forced me to have a quick reality check….he said (at the risk of embarrassing him) “I don’t really care at the end of the day, I just want to be married to you”
I know, he’s sweet right? (sweet and also completely not into details!)
In any case, first off I was immediately jealous at his ability to not be so caught up in all of the choices and aspects that had taken over my life for the last few weeks but then it hit me, it’s okay if our special day isn’t the biggest, or most elaborate or has the right ‘look’ or colours or flowers because what matters most is our ability to create and maintain a lasting and loving relationship and bond with one another.
It dawned on me that planning a wedding can easily be a full time job for some people (I mean planners have literally created an entire career off of it) but it is just one day and one moment in time that will be magical, memorable and unique no matter how it turns out but once those 24 hours are over, you’re left trying to figure out how to be a good wife, friend, support system, and everything else that goes into a marriage and not just a wedding.
So it’s okay to get caught up sometimes in the excitement of picking out your centrepieces and booking the right venue but do not allow yourself to lose sight of what is truly important
I worry that not enough people put the same passion, time, money, energy and commitment they do planning the ‘perfect’ wedding as they should into preparing for the ‘perfect’ marriage.
So enjoy the wedding planning process, but remember to stay realistic, optimistic and to enjoy not just the details of selecting, purchasing and preparing but also the details of your relationship that will hopefully gain strength, clarity and be filled with more love and joy with each passing day that will set the stage for a happy, healthy and amazing life and marriage together.